Long distance guy: Is he worth it?

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If you have relationship questions, leave us a note here on the Ask the Guys page. We’ll do our best to answer it. However, due to the large number of questions, we can’t get to every one.

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Also, check out our latest podcast Episode 33: Dating questions, dentist fees, pet peeves.  The Guy’s Perspective Podcast.

Here are the six relationship questions we answered on on our latest podcast:

Sarah is beginning to have a change of heart. Now that her man wants to introduce her to his family, she’s unsure how she feels about it.

Dan wonders whether or not he’s being played by the single mom he has recently started dating.

Miss Lady’s boyfriend turned down a trip to Vegas with her, but after his guy friends ask him he’s all in. Now what?

Jenny’s man cheated on her with seven to ten different women, but she still loves him. Why would he do that?

Emily has an admirer, at least that’s what her loving friends tell her. Are they right she wonders?

Riya is confused about a guy from work. They date; he decides it’s not going to work; but then he keeps texting even after she’s moved on. She is curious why he still is trying to be “friends.”

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Dear Guys,

I was in a relationship with a guy who fell for me really hard.  He said I was “The One”.  We spent a lot of time together and he was very romantic, in love, etc.  Anyway, we were an hour away from each other and things were moving very quickly.  I asked him if he was ever interested in closing our distance gap and he immediately started to act differently. He told me he will never move from the town he lives in and has decided he cannot give me what I want and has ended the relationship.  This is hard for me to understand since he was displaying so many feelings-love, future plans, etc? He told me he was walking away from a “once in a lifetime”.   He still contacts me occasionally.  We broke up over a month ago?  Do I stop all communication with him or do you think it is worth waiting it out?  Or do you think he is just plain selfish?



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Dear Val,

Thanks for writing to us.

We’re sorry about your situation. Getting mixed signals is always hurtful and confusing. Some guys have a hard time being straightforward with the woman they’re involved in. Your man is no exception.

Clearly he got scared when you pushed it a bit. Don’t get us wrong. You did the right thing. It’s never a good idea to pretend that things are how you want them to be, when they aren’t. You wanted to take the relationship to the next level and you put that out there. We commend you for that, and wish more people would ask for what they want.

If he truly thought you were a “once in a lifetime” opportunity we doubt he would have walked away so easily. Saying it is one thing but acting on it is quite another. His actions tell the tale, not his words. Yes, he’s being selfish, but he is doing what he feels is right for him. Unfortunately he wasn’t completely honest with you. Saying you’re “the one” one day, but then breaking up with you soon after should give you some insight to where his head is at.

So what we would say is, it’s probably time to move on. However, it has only been a month and if for some reason he does a complete 180 and decides to move to where you are, or something like that, we think it would be okay to at least give some consideration to getting back together. But only if he shows remorse, makes concessions, and completely changes. But we honestly don’t think that’s going to happen.

So should you break off communication? You should do what’s best for you. If it’s too painful to talk to him, and if it gives you false hope, then yes you should stop all communication with him and give yourself time to heal. If nothing changes in the next month or so, then it’s time for you to put this relationship in the past and get on with your life.

Any relationship you choose to be in should be a two way street. You should be getting as much as you’re giving. And the man you’re with should be willing to compromise, otherwise your relationship will be doomed from the start. Hopefully your next guy will be ready to meet you in the middle and take things to the next level.

Take care of yourself and good luck.


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